I was always afraid to look in the mirror, for fear that the girl I would see wouldn’t live up to my expectations. I was afraid that the girl in front of me was unfinished, and I wasn’t ready to see her, I wasn’t ready to face her. Because the truth is, 2025 was HARD, but 2025 didn’t just pass through my life, It finally taught me who I was.
This year challenged me to let go of things that I held onto so tightly, things that I was so afraid to lose that I would rather suffer rope burn from hanging on. This year I had doors slammed in my face that I was so confident would stay open forever. It loosened my grip on who I thought I was and instead whispered the uncomfortable truth that sometimes God changes the plan without explaining Himself first. I learned that grief isn’t just about death, but can be found in the transition, from my plan to His.
This year, I made mistakes I wish I could rewrite. I said yes when I should’ve rested, stayed quiet when I should’ve spoken, and carried guilt heavier than it needed to be. There were days when sadness didn’t have a clear reason, but all I knew was that sadness was living inside of me and taking over. My depression didn’t always announce itself loudly, honestly sometimes it showed up as numbness or the quiet belief that I was falling behind everyone else. But somewhere in that sadness I chose to surrender. I learned that struggling didn’t make me weak or faithless. It made me human. God met me with patience instead of disappointment, reminding me that healing is not linear and grace does not run out when I get it wrong.(which trust me I got it wrong a lot this year)
I showed up for myself this year. I got myself out of bed, sometimes far too late but none the less, I showed up. I walked away from things that I wanted to keep so badly. I let go of friendships and relationships that were holding me back from my salvation. I discovered humility can be holy, and that starting over is not a failure but an invitation.
The part of this year I am the most proud of is how it deepened my faith. I confidently took new steps, learned to pray outloud and unapologetically. I made Godly friendships, I learned how to trust God when clarity didn’t come quickly. I served even when I felt stretched, I poured into others while God was still pouring into me. Somewhere between the doubt of whether I deserved to be on this earth, my faith grew roots and I was reminded that I was made for the garden.
I also learned what love looks like when it’s steady. When it doesn’t rush or demand perfection. I married my best friend this year, and I learned what it meant to have sacrificial love. I learned that being supported wasn’t too much to ask. I learned that love shouldn’t be scary, but instead should feel like free falling into the best days of your life.
I am a VERY sensitive person, but yet somehow I still think that 2025 softened me. Not with others, but maybe with myself. I learned to give myself grace, talk kinder to myself, that medicine doesn’t make me weak, and that I was worthy of living and being loved.
I think eventually I stopped chasing the version of myself that had everything figured out. I stopped measuring my worth by what OTHERS thought of me. I learned that rest is not a reward but honestly it’s a requirement. I found comfort in knowing that joy can coexist with uncertainty. My healing isn’t loud, and my growth isn’t always visible, but it is there.
So when I look in the mirror now, I take a little extra time to see her. To see the girl who I have become and forget the version of myself that allowed the world to control how I saw her.
2025 made me present. It made me honest. It made me… ME.
And that… that is something that I get be proud of.
So I hope you take an extra second to be proud of the girl you see in the mirror, because you are worthy, you are loved, and you are growing.
I love you.
B
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